Finding Self Acceptance and Grace Amid 'Long-Term Chaos'

Rome wasn't built in a day, nor were mindsets changed so quickly

Two weeks ago, I thought I was feeling down and out because I was considering a return to a ‘job’ where I’d be working for someone else. It seemed like the most distracting thing.

It took me all week before I realized, I was more affected by ailing dog than I realized.

A few days later I recognized that the bombardment of political crap, aimed squarely at those in need was also affecting me.

It’s cold out. It’s being dark longer. We’re moving into ‘spend all the money’ season.

There is just a lot going on, some things feeling more chaotic than others.

This past week, I found out my dog has congestive heart failure. The cardiologist suggests that we’ll be lucky to have him around for another year. That’s a cloud of chaos, raining on the heads of my whole family every day.

It really sounds like I’m ramping up for 5 minutes of complaining, doesn’t it?

Well, that’s not the plan, man.

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Mindfulness is Self-Awareness + Grace

I always feel lucky when I realize some truth about myself. Meaning, if I’ve been feeling a certain way and then understand why, I’m glad for that knowledge.

My little intro is exactly that, seeing all of the things that are swirling around in my life.

When you’re able to see how you react to things, often you can become frustrated or even depressed. Honestly, if you go look in the ADHD sub-Reddit, you’ll find regular posts of people who think they have no hope. But that’s just an awareness of one’s circumstances.

If you are self-aware enough to see the good or bad in your life, and if you’re able to see your part in it, then you’re a blessed human.

Once you see the circumstances, you’ve arrived at a crossroads. At this point, Stoicism can be your friend, so can mindfulness, or forgiveness.

Seeing the chaos in your life, then pausing to channel it in a desired direction, makes all the difference.

So, again, I’m not here to complain. I’m here to be glad for the chance to be “in the moment.” I may lose my dog in the coming days/weeks/years and all I can do right now is appreciate him.

The election may turn the US into a conservative, religious, nationalist, fascist state… but all I can do is be my best self today.

I spend a lot of time pausing, taking a deep breath, and letting myself find my center right now. It' feels nice.

Channeling ChaOS - Moving Towards Tool-Building

In the Notion creator space, everyone seems to evolve towards creating a ‘Something OS’ that is the culmination of their various Notion based templates they’ve created. This always makes me laugh. Usually it’s after they’ve created their ‘Second Brain’ style templates.

I’m no different really, though I recognize it for what it is, and see the flaw in trying to create the one ring to bind them. I’m still working out the details of my systems and how I think I can help people manage their chaotic life, but they tend to all have a unifying theme. It’s what I’m calling my Three-ish framework.

I don’t have anything to announce in the tools department, though I’m closer than I’ve ever been (which is a ‘duh’ statement if I’ve ever said one.) I’m working on fixing the Journaling System I have first, then working on a Prioritization System and a Task Management System. I’m looking into ways to bring AI into the process, with the goal being that some Augmented Intelligence is a PERFECT fit for when you get ADHD brain lock.

My goal is to have the Journaling Template back online and ready for distribution by the end of the month. I’m also starting with a series of worksheets for the other parts of the “ChaOS” (see what I did there, Chaos OS, get it?) before turning them into Templates.

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Channeling Chaos - The Community

I merged my other Newsletter “Channeling Chaos” into this one as a Section a couple of months ago. At the time, it made sense because there was overlap. I don’t regret it, and think that writing in this space is the right thing. That being said, after spending time with Brad in the

Corporate Dropouts

community, I recognize the value of having peers… but more importantly, I recognize the value of starting sooner than later, and not looking for the perfect setup.

Channeling Chaos is ‘going live’ again as a newsletter here on Substack later today, but like a Chaos Butterfly turned Phoenix, it’s a bit different. I’ll do one post a week there, but it will be a “Micro Newsletter” that’s never more than 3 minutes of reading, focused on tools, findings, lessons or quick insights.

I’ll also be creating a community that does a live session each week, purely as a body-doubling, co-working space that has a check-in at the start and end of that session.

The first post in the re-opened newsletter will go over the details and plant a date for the first session.

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Gratitudinally Speaking

The past couple of weeks has revealed so much to me about my life, what I want to offer the world, what the world has to offer me and generally seeing how much value there is in having people in your life that care about you. I have a handful of new perspectives, who I’ve mentioned before, but who are so helpful to me.

• Brad @

  Corporate Dropouts
  - Has been so generous with this time and his heart, making me feel accepted and encouraging me along the way.

• Maria @

  Full Life Collective
  - Much like Brad, always has a kind word, but also sees me where I don’t see myself.

• Michael @

  Michael Thompson
  - As creator, he brings his heart and emotion to the community, helping it be something more than another Medium-style writing platform where we all just follow the same templates. As a person, he surprised me by his availability and humanity in a world of “gurus.”

Of course, I have many other people, my wife and kids keep me smiling daily. My dog, Jasper, is being something closer to his pup-like self and I’m glad he’s still with us.

I hope everyone reading this gets a chance to consider the good in their life. Please take a mindful moment on my part… or do it for my sick dog if that’s what it takes, and give yourself a break. Forgive yourself, or love yourself.

Do something to find peace in your life and to love your neighbor.

Namaste (I bow to the divine in you.)

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