Great insights there Jody! I've always loved reading your stuff.
I don't have ADHD so I can't really relate to how you feel. But I do relate to the fact that not every technique works for everyone. Like "eat the frog" is DEFINITELY not for me. I start with small tasks and build momentum over the rest of the day and then use momentum to finish strong.
I do however believe in doing hard things. And I do start my day with a hard thing on most days (a hard work out) cause that helps me get momentum. And since my brain is working fine, I guess it pumps put the necessary dopamine after that to give me a sense of accomplishment.
Maybe some hard things are not that beneficial. They're just hard. But I do still find value in them. Doing hard things keeps us aquatinted with pain amd suffering. I think it's very important for us to learn to live through pain. Keeping it around makes sure you don't forget what it feels like and you don't get overwhelmed if it pops up somewhere in your life.
Thanks for all this feedback, I have this regular battle with "is this ADHD specific" when I think about things, so it's always great to see when things are applicable to the larger world. Honestly, your comment is the proverbial straw that's pushing me to stop trying to make everything just be an ADHD thing. Thanks!
I feel like some days I get super motivated and could eat the frog and some days I have to build up, I both love and hate that each day gets to be a fresh perspective for how effective I'll be. When in doubt, baby steps in rapid succession works a treat.
I suppose I was bit harsh in saying "don't do hard things", I might have just read some message that was leaning into that wisdom. I think hard things are super important, though a lot of times I have to make them so easy (baby steps) that I forget that it was hard, then look back and dismiss it as having never been hard in the first place.
I'll have to give the 'pain and suffering' perspective some thought. There is a fine line between 'tough it out' and 'it's ok to fail' and sometimes I have trouble with the distinction. I hate to be Pollyanna, but I also don't like to bark like a drill sergeant. Being tough during a workout is one thing, doing my taxes is something completely different. (c;
Do you have a mindset that helps you when something is hard and painful.
Awesome to learn about your perspective! Hey, good on you for trying to figure out how to deal with your ADHD without being apologetic.
What I'm getting reading your comment is that generalization doesn't exactly work for you. It doesn't work for me either. I shuffle around my productivity habits quite frequently too. Like you, some days I can eat the frog. But most days I just want some brownies lol. So I resort to building momentum.
As far as mindset goes, I have a couple of those too and I use different ones on different days to deal with difficulty, pain and suffering. I sometimes use them in conjunction too. Depends on what it takes that day.
My overarching philosophy, I guess, is that life is going to be painful in some way shape.or form. There's no getting around that. It's only a matter of time. And so I need to put myself through voluntary versions of pain and suffering (like hard workouts, delayed gratification, pushing myself a bit more at work even though its uncomfortable, controlling impulses etc., working on my side hustle after coming back home from a long day) so that I can toughen up.
If I get a flat tire randomly one day, I should not lose my shit. If I have to carry grown person in my arms to an ambulance or something, I'm tough enough to do that. Or if things are tough at work, I know I can get through it cause I've been through worse over the years or I've put myself in those tough situations before.
That's one of those mindsets. There a couple of other ones too if you're interested.
You might find this amusing. This page, this comment, has been sitting in its own browser tab for days now with the intent to read, process and respond. Every time I click onto it, I see it and think... I want to respond to this, but need to really read it first, then tab away. Like somehow me clicking through tabs isn't a clear indication that I have time right now. (I literally just tabbed away again, then came back to force my hand.)
I'd love to hear more about your mindsets. That one feels very Stoic, recognize that everything isn't easy, learn to endure the hard so that the easy is even easier.
A part of me wants to react with a "well I have ADHD..." type of comment, or point out how it can be triggering to others with ADHD. I posted a Note yesterday about my daughter's take on her ADHD friends, who have used it to weaponize their incompetence or their laziness. She isn't trying to be mean to them, sometimes she can be blunt. She wouldn't ever call them on it, but she recognizes that sometimes ADHD is only an excuse.
My homework from her and from your comment is to look for and sort out when something is a 'my brain is different' and when something is a 'I can overcome this' type problem.
Absolutely! I can relate to what you just said there at the end. I do the same thing for myself too. But obviously in a non ADHD way.
We all must do what works for us. We're humans and we're dofferent in extremely minute and nuanced ways. What works for me might not work for you. Or maybe a part of it does and other doesn't.
Respect for you for being honest with yourself 🔥 that's a tough thing to do
Great insights there Jody! I've always loved reading your stuff.
I don't have ADHD so I can't really relate to how you feel. But I do relate to the fact that not every technique works for everyone. Like "eat the frog" is DEFINITELY not for me. I start with small tasks and build momentum over the rest of the day and then use momentum to finish strong.
I do however believe in doing hard things. And I do start my day with a hard thing on most days (a hard work out) cause that helps me get momentum. And since my brain is working fine, I guess it pumps put the necessary dopamine after that to give me a sense of accomplishment.
Maybe some hard things are not that beneficial. They're just hard. But I do still find value in them. Doing hard things keeps us aquatinted with pain amd suffering. I think it's very important for us to learn to live through pain. Keeping it around makes sure you don't forget what it feels like and you don't get overwhelmed if it pops up somewhere in your life.
I'm interested in hearing what you think of that.
Cheers man!
Thanks for all this feedback, I have this regular battle with "is this ADHD specific" when I think about things, so it's always great to see when things are applicable to the larger world. Honestly, your comment is the proverbial straw that's pushing me to stop trying to make everything just be an ADHD thing. Thanks!
I feel like some days I get super motivated and could eat the frog and some days I have to build up, I both love and hate that each day gets to be a fresh perspective for how effective I'll be. When in doubt, baby steps in rapid succession works a treat.
I suppose I was bit harsh in saying "don't do hard things", I might have just read some message that was leaning into that wisdom. I think hard things are super important, though a lot of times I have to make them so easy (baby steps) that I forget that it was hard, then look back and dismiss it as having never been hard in the first place.
I'll have to give the 'pain and suffering' perspective some thought. There is a fine line between 'tough it out' and 'it's ok to fail' and sometimes I have trouble with the distinction. I hate to be Pollyanna, but I also don't like to bark like a drill sergeant. Being tough during a workout is one thing, doing my taxes is something completely different. (c;
Do you have a mindset that helps you when something is hard and painful.
Awesome to learn about your perspective! Hey, good on you for trying to figure out how to deal with your ADHD without being apologetic.
What I'm getting reading your comment is that generalization doesn't exactly work for you. It doesn't work for me either. I shuffle around my productivity habits quite frequently too. Like you, some days I can eat the frog. But most days I just want some brownies lol. So I resort to building momentum.
As far as mindset goes, I have a couple of those too and I use different ones on different days to deal with difficulty, pain and suffering. I sometimes use them in conjunction too. Depends on what it takes that day.
My overarching philosophy, I guess, is that life is going to be painful in some way shape.or form. There's no getting around that. It's only a matter of time. And so I need to put myself through voluntary versions of pain and suffering (like hard workouts, delayed gratification, pushing myself a bit more at work even though its uncomfortable, controlling impulses etc., working on my side hustle after coming back home from a long day) so that I can toughen up.
If I get a flat tire randomly one day, I should not lose my shit. If I have to carry grown person in my arms to an ambulance or something, I'm tough enough to do that. Or if things are tough at work, I know I can get through it cause I've been through worse over the years or I've put myself in those tough situations before.
That's one of those mindsets. There a couple of other ones too if you're interested.
You might find this amusing. This page, this comment, has been sitting in its own browser tab for days now with the intent to read, process and respond. Every time I click onto it, I see it and think... I want to respond to this, but need to really read it first, then tab away. Like somehow me clicking through tabs isn't a clear indication that I have time right now. (I literally just tabbed away again, then came back to force my hand.)
I'd love to hear more about your mindsets. That one feels very Stoic, recognize that everything isn't easy, learn to endure the hard so that the easy is even easier.
A part of me wants to react with a "well I have ADHD..." type of comment, or point out how it can be triggering to others with ADHD. I posted a Note yesterday about my daughter's take on her ADHD friends, who have used it to weaponize their incompetence or their laziness. She isn't trying to be mean to them, sometimes she can be blunt. She wouldn't ever call them on it, but she recognizes that sometimes ADHD is only an excuse.
My homework from her and from your comment is to look for and sort out when something is a 'my brain is different' and when something is a 'I can overcome this' type problem.
Absolutely! I can relate to what you just said there at the end. I do the same thing for myself too. But obviously in a non ADHD way.
We all must do what works for us. We're humans and we're dofferent in extremely minute and nuanced ways. What works for me might not work for you. Or maybe a part of it does and other doesn't.
Respect for you for being honest with yourself 🔥 that's a tough thing to do