Starting Where You're At

Restarting and Resetting impedes your progress

I met my wife online in the 20th century, we were using IRC because there weren’t dating apps back in those days.

Let’s backspace to my teens, though (also in the 20th century)…

In high school, I thought computers were cool. The “graphics” were ASCII and monochrome, but they were still cooler than typewriters.

I didn’t own a computer until later, so my computer times were using the devices at school.

• In my Business class, I was learning to use WordPerfect on the IBM computers. (People weren’t building their own yet, so IBM was the defacto computer… Windows didn’t exist.)

• In my Programming class, I was learning to write code in Apple Basic, on an Apple Macintosh. (That’s also where I started playing text based games like Zork.)

• My typing class was still using Selectric typewriters

Back then, I was getting high at lunch and arriving to Business class, not caring about anything to do with business. I was pushed to learn the fundamentals of touch typing, but I wasn’t fast.

Fast-forward a decade, I built my own PC and was using it to chat and meet people online. (That, and play games.)

The world had changed, I was chatting using IRC with different people in the world, and I could only chat as effectively as I typed. My thoughts happen rapidly, my mouth can usually keep up, my fingers (at that time) would just stand at the starting line and wave as the thoughts raced away.

My need to share thoughts pushed me to type faster, so I got faster. I got really fast.

Touch typing is great because it creates muscle memory and eventually the letters get typed automatically. The problem is that it’s easy to not want to remove your hands from the home row on the keyboard… so I’m even faster at backspacing than I am at typing.

Where am I going with this? Oh yeah, typing contains a lot of ‘starting over.’

If I mistype a word, I’m more likely to notice it after my fingers have already typed the rest of the sentence, and my reaction is to backspace all the way to that error and fix it and retype my sentence.

Even in typing a sentence, I’ve trained myself to ‘start over.’

I guess another point here is, at the start of my typing journey, I had no incentive to type faster or even care about typing. Later, in the middle of my typing journey, I needed to type faster so I could talk to my future wife.

Sometimes we are better at something BECAUSE we’re in the middle of the journey.

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::Backspacing Intensifies::

I’ve always been inclined to “starting over” when things went awry. It’s the constant daydream of “if I were doing this from the beginning, I’d do this instead.”

I don’t live in a world of “I wish I’d done this differently,” but I sometimes do experiment with how things would proceed from different starting points.

It’s easy to look at outcomes in a vacuum, it’s a common method for teaching the fundamentals of things.

The flaw in vacuum based thinking is that it encourage a mindset of needing to be at the starting point to do something.

The older you get, the more often you find that your ‘starting point’ is actually more of a ‘middle point.’ This is particularly true if you’re an ADHD brained person who has started lots of things, only to jump to a different thing as it caught your eye.

Sometimes, in fact most of the time, you arrive at a problem with other variables in play.

Let’s explore the idea of starting from the beginning…

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Learning from others usually comes in a vacuum

I’ve read a lot of Self Improvement books over the years. I’ve written a lot of articles about it. I’ve joined cohorts and masterminds where some guru virtually stands up front, spouting advice.

There is almost always a ‘Step One’ but there is RARELY a branching “If you’re here then do this” starting point.

We humans aren’t typically starting at the exact same place, often that makes all the difference.

An example, I was attending a recent workshop on running challenges online, one of the pieces of ‘tech’ they recommended was to hire an inexpensive virtual assistant. How much is that? $400 a month.

I don’t want to undersell the value of a virtual assistant, I want to emphasize that a $400 expense when you’re bootstrapping change in your life… it’s not always practical.

Even with a skill that has an obvious starting point, such as learning to play the guitar, has variables in play…

• perhaps you have small or weak hands

• perhaps you’re left-handed

• maybe you’ve already learned to sight read music

• maybe you have perfect pitch (or you’re tone-deaf)

We all have our personal filters that affect our ability to start something.

This happens with self-improvement as well, perhaps we know how to meditate, maybe we’re working our way from a level of obesity that prevents fitness.

There is often an advantage or a disadvantage that makes us unique from our starting point.

One size does NOT fit all, some sizes don’t even fit most.

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Set your own starting point

The only time we get proper, individual advice is when it’s an interactive journey.

The only time you get a ‘bespoke solution’ is if you’re visiting a therapist, or you’ve hired a trainer.

Having a coach of some sort will let them help you craft a journey, one that is starting where you’re at.

Another option, is finding a crowd of like-minded peers.

Joining a group for left-handed guitarists lets you share your common struggles.

Being in a weight loss program with those struggling with obesity gives you perspective from others on a similar path.

By having a ‘fuzzy’ starting point with others that are fuzzy as well, you get the benefit of group wisdom. Having a coach that’s responding to your needs means you don’t have to figure out how to get to the starting line.

I’ve said it before, I’ll continue to bang the drum… a guru is creating the broadest solution possible to reach as many people as possible.

It’s great on social media, it creates the illusion of mastery, but it’s fluff.

Don’t look for someone to tell you what to do, look for someone who helps you figure out what to do.

Don’t expect there to be THE answer, just look for AN answer.

Pay attention to your values, to your place in your life, and build from there.

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As a side note, I’ve actually made that community thing I keep mentioning happen. I’ve created a community space at https://chaoscooperative.com and will be finding members throughout February before kicking off a more official launch at the start of March. There will be monthly themes and challenges, along with weekly topics that help keep you accountable or figure yourself out.

I’ll also be doing a workshop next week (February 13th) at 1PM MST. If you’re interested, signup here.

The Value Based Life Planning Workshop (also known as “Prime for 90 years”) is a 90 minute workshop that will take you through some writing prompts, to help you figure out ‘what matters’ and create a plan that will feed future project and daily management efforts.

It’s free for all who attend.

Sign up, and you’ll get some emails about when, where, how and what to expect.

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